Podcast #97: Cancer, Science, and Kissing Dating Goodbye

41 May 15, 2016 by

97This episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors begins with the age-old question, “Should the Tesla Motor Company be pronounced like the metal band Tesla from the ‘80s, or does CEO Elon Musk have the right to just change the pronunciation on a whim? And what gives him that right?” We then take a voice mail asking what our respective protocols would be if we were diagnosed with cancer (as in, who would we tell, and when?), and our answers sum up our personalities pretty perfectly. We take listeners’ questions concerning gun rights, what the hell “grace perfects nature” means, and whether Christian feels the pull back toward Christianity or will just continue hardening his heart against Jesus. We spend a few moments discussing all the so-called scientific studies that are popping up everywhere proving stuff like “men who think about boobs are less likely to contract Crohn’s Disease,” and then turn our attention to the “courtship” alternative to dating that many Christian’s have adopted and been screwed over by. Lastly, we tackle the issue of “cultural (mis)appropriation,” which says that white guys can’t have dreadlocks. Can white people have dreadlocks? A poignant question indeed, which is why we discuss it.

Also, America is the only civilized western country where the plotline of Breaking Bad makes even the least bit of sense.

41 Comments (click here to leave a comment)

  1. • You can’t stop taking your BP Meds. You are going to die. Most of them aren’t that expensive if they have generics available, and if they don’t, call your damn doctor’s office and ask him if he can prescribe one that has a generic or if he has samples in his office you can have.

    • I’d tell everyone if I had cancer. And I’d hope that I’d beat it, but I guess I’d go do a bucket list with my kids.

    • And you get weed. Of course, living in Washington, you get weed anyway.

    • I don’t feel like I’ll ever be comfortable in my own skin no matter how I look. Social anxiety is a bitch.

    • I wonder if embracing a theology that repeatedly said, “You suck. You can’t do anything. You’re nothing. The best you can do is shit in God’s eyes” had anything to do with that.

    • I think most human beings come with a mental, ethical, and moral framework already defined and fit new information into that framework.

    • My favorite quote about Ayn Rand: “There are two novels that can transform a bookish 14-year-kid’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish daydream that can lead to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood in which large chunks of the day are spent inventing ways to make real life more like a fantasy novel. The other is a book about orcs.”

    • Midwest accent sounds a lot like Sarah Palin.

    • Pretty sure the biblical version of dating involved you or your parents approaching the father of the would-be bride and offering him money or goats in exchange for his daughter who didn’t have a say in the matter. Or buying her from a slaver. Or seeing her in the house of an enemy, and, after killing her father and mother and siblings, binding her up and shaving her head and locking her up in your tent for a month before you could rape her.

    • I should write a book using that last one as the model for biblical courtship.

    • I’m sure if you have any questions about that book at all, literally every girl who went to our high school could answer them for you.

    • I’ve ranted about it here before, but the purity culture is vile. It completely screws up your ideas about sex and marriage and love. It engrains in your head that sex is evil and that is not something you can simply turn off like a light switch. One’s entire value is predicated upon their virginity, and what happens when you no longer have that?

    • No, I don’t think that the idea of never being alone with your prospective mate is a good thing even in theory. I think it robs you of an aspect of getting to know them. Because who you are changes slightly (or perhaps drastically) based on who you are with or whether you are alone. What if the ‘spouse’ you get to know is the person she is because of the presence of others?

    • Maybe I lack perspective as a white guy, but I don’t think there is a dominant racial culture. I think race is one of the things that defines and influences what our personal (or a given group) culture is, but we seem to define our American culture by the geographical, religious, political, familial, and personal interest cultures that we belong to.

    • Dick Move, God: Jephthah. Driven out by the local people for being the son of a whore, he is exiled and ends up as a bandit leader. When the locals have trouble with foreigners, they appeal to him to lead them. He eventually agrees and takes the role of Judge. He will fight the enemies of Israel and the enemies of God. On the day before the battle, he swears that if God gives him victory, he will sacrifice, as a burnt offering, the first thing that comes out of his house to greet him when he returns.

    The Lord gives him victory, when he comes home, his daughter comes out and Jephthah sacrifices her as burnt offering to the Lord true to his word.

    God could have sent word to the daughter saying, “Why don’t you let the cat go out the door first.” Or done a whole Abraham and Isaac resolution and provided a sheep saying, “Dude, we’re cool. I like roast sheep better anyway, but nope.

    • You see boxing matches where people get hit in the face a lot, but it’s usually light jabs.

  2. he will sacrifice, as a burnt offering, the first thing that comes out of his house to greet him when he returns.

    I always thought that was the weirdest oath. There’s a pretty good chance a human is going to come out to greet you. Or your family pet. Either way it’s fucked up.

  3. Jephthah: one of the best Brick Testament episodes of all times: http://www.bricktestament.com/judges/jephthah_kills_his_virgin_daughter/jg11_34.html

    I used to do this series called “Women in the Bible” on my now-much-neglected blog, and when I did that story a bunch of commenters came out of the woodwork to argue that Jephthah did not actually kill his daughter because the “sacrifice” referred to was lifelong temple service instead so she was mourning her virginity or something? Which makes no sense, really, but I didn’t have the energy to debate with them for too long so I shut down comments on that post. They kept emailing me for a few months though.

  4. Yeah, that’s an explanation they pulled out of their ass.

    There’s no reason for Jephthah to tear his clothes in mourning and be all emo if she’s just heading off to the tabernacle where he could visit her any time he wanted to.

  5. Maybe he was having issues with Mrs. Jephthah and figured she’d be the first one out to greet him and save him the expense of a divorce.

  7. I think everyone knew where Marin County was before Orange County. At least when I was a kid and before I lived in CA.

    It seems like a population density thing. There are so many cities in the big counties of Socal that you have to break it up by county or region. You might have no clue where Northridge is, but a decent sense of where the valley is. Tustin? Garden Grove? Irvine? Where the fuck is that? Orange County? Got it.

    With a lot of other states it’s easier to conceptualize urban areas as clustered around several main cities with vast areas of wasteland in between (I’m looking at you almost all of Eastern WA) but Southern CA is just one massive cluster of cities after another.

  9. Enjoyable show boys!

    Can y’all please talk about sex slaves next week? Its going to be a thing in the next few months.

    So get this. Apparently a billionaire pesophile named Epstein owned a pretty famous orgy plane. Wolf of walstreet stuff. Only with 15 year olds. He also had a “sex slave island” where the orgies continued. Apparently old Bill Clinton rode said plane and visited said island over 20 times. We have the reciepts and legers. Slam dunk right? Donald Trump is gonna go nuts with these right?

    NOT SO FAST

    Apparently Trump ALSO has ridden on the plane and visited the island. What. The. Hell. Are you kidding me? Both candidates have a connection with child sex slave planes and island. This election will be so embarrassing on a global scale.

    http://www.dailywire.com/news/5749/both-trump-and-clinton-went-jeffrey-epsteins-sex-amanda-prestigiacomo

  13. Yeah but Hillary is only a woman so chances are Bill will still call the shots

  16. Yeah, we used to say, “I’ve been praying for our president and her husband.” Haha!

  17. Also, this is the best ever
    My favorite quote about Ayn Rand: “There are two novels that can transform a bookish 14-year-kid’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish daydream that can lead to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood in which large chunks of the day are spent inventing ways to make real life more like a fantasy novel. The other is a book about orcs.”

    Next time some dude is mansplaining Ayn Rand to me in a bar I’m going to totally wish I had the kind of memory that could whip that quote out on a moment’s notice.

  18. I finally listened to the rest of the podcast.
    Courtship really is a bizarre thing that was taken to such a ridiculous extreme. I was of dating age in the church before the courtship craze, but people still loved to put all kinds of crazy rules on dating. Most people felt that dating in groups was best, and I had a few friends who made up elaborate rules for themselves like no front-facing hugs, no kissing, no sitting close enough that hips or shoulders can touch, etc. That taken together with the purity culture thing is so damaging. I was already mentally far enough gone that I kind of watched it all from the sidelines, but I have so many friends I grew up with in church who went on to have totally dysfunctional marriages (which they went into as virgins, of course) or to cheat or be cheated on and then feel like that had to stay in a crappy marriage and limp on through life. One of them tried to kill himself at some point although everyone tries to pretend it was just an accident, another one has had a pretty serous exercise addiction for years and she just had a stroke last year at the age of 41, and another one is a total workaholic and never even sees his wife except when they make their “perfect family” appearances at church functions. Of course I see all of this as dysfunctional and as signs of internalized stress and depression but I’m sure they have other explanations for it.

    And Jason, you can tell which 44th St it is by the N, NW, NE etc. Those actually mean something in Seattle. It took me a couple of years after moving away from Seattle to stop expecting the directional prefixes and suffixes to mean anything. In places like Denver people lop them off entirely, which is disconcerting if you’re used to Seattle driving.

  21. So you think leftism is only issue in Venezuela. Seems to me like there’s a third variable, and a fourth, and a fifth… 🙂

  22. Google bought waze …. so if you use google maps, it has all the waze traffic and accidents.

  23. Being a petrol state during a period of low oil prices, rampant corruption, and a history of oligarchy and colonialism.

    But eh, whatevs. Needs more tax cuts and less social spending on the poor. That’ll fix things right up.

  24. And Jason, you can tell which 44th St it is by the N, NW, NE etc. Those actually mean something in Seattle.

    Nope, not in this case. It was “NE 41st St.,” and it just so happens that that streets ends and re-emerges miles away. The grid system is an unnatural imposition on nature. It’s like Saruman burning Fangorn for fuel to feed his gears and wheels.

  25. Hyperbolic metaphors for the win! OK, the grid is a little confusing at times, but I’m not a giant fan of Siri either. Maybe Google maps (who my kids refer to as Computer Wife Karen) would have gotten it right.

  26. It has the largest oil reserves on the planet. An abundance of natural resources. Venezuela should be one of the richest countries in the world. Yet another socialist failure.

    Socialism breeds corruption BTW. Everyone pursues their own interests. Even state officials. Results are typical.

  28. That was his happy movie right? I hated capitalism and sicko, but I think I enjoyed where to invade next. Some progressive ideas are really cool.

    I remember being horrified at some countries prison system only giving like 20 years for murder, and also being impressed with Portugal legalizing all drugs. It was neat. Oh and the school lunch thing too. That’s about all I retained.

  29. The economy here in Wyoming has crashed as well. Because that’s what happen in extraction economies when the price of oil falls. Believe me, we ain’t socialists here.

    There’s also an important distinction to be made between socialist states where resources are managed strategically and utilized to diversify the economy and socialist states where poor planning and corruption are the norm. Just because the means of production belongs to the people doesn’t mean you’re already committed to an inefficient or corrupt management style.

  30. Can you still buy toilet paper in Wyoming? If so, better than Venezuela!

  31. Well, the country that only gives 21 years as a maximum sentence no matter the crime (Norway) also has a much lower murder rate than the U.S. Also, their recidivism rate is 20% compared to 77% in America. Perhaps we could learn a thing or two from them.

  33. Yeah, but do you really think the lower sentences are what decrease the crime? I don’t think I would be emotionally satisfied with someone getting 21 years for raping and killing my wife. But I suppose I could just wait 21 years and pay it back lol

  34. I watched the documentary again last night, this time with Brooke. She was troubled by the same thing you are. I don’t think it’s just the sentences that make a difference. I think that there is so much more to it including treating people with dignity, focusing on rehabilitation, raising people with the mindset that it’s “we” not “me.”

    Moore interviewed the father of a 17 year old killed when that neo-nazi went on that shooting rampage in Norway a few years back. The father didn’t want revenge and he didn’t want to “climb down the ladder” to the killer’s level. It’s just a completely different attitude than the macho attitude that is ingrained in us from childhood here in America (and in other countries too, of course).

  35. Yes, the cultural difference is yuge. Treating prisoners with dignity seems worth while. But I don’t think 21 years is justice to be honest, no matter the mindset. Its also worth noting that they have a tiny population.

    To be honest, the Nordic market systems seem to have been a success. Its difficult to argue with the results which speak for themselves. Scale might be an issue, but then, it might not.

    Speaking of champions of Nordic markets. You know Bernie is feeling a surge of hope after Clinton flunked her security review!!! (The actual security review, not the FBI investigation). Plus Guccifer made a deal with the feds. She is sinking like the titanic. Let’s see if the DNC can reverse gears fast enough.

    http://video.foxnews.com/v/4911270408001/napolitano-audit-faulting-clinton-on-emails-is-huge/?#sp=show-clips

  36. I wish something like that would sink Hillary but it won’t. Plus the security review said that all the recent secretaries of state have pretty much done what Hillary did as well. There will never be criminal charges against her, IMO. Unfortunately.

  37. We can’t just adopt Nordic systems, but we can look at how we can get closer to them. We can look at what they’ve done right and figure out what we need to do to get close to them. Even though we are a much different country with a much different makeup, that doesn’t mean we can’t learn from them.

  38. Yeah, but the laws were different for them than they were for her. She fucked up. She has said the entire time that the FBI was conducted a security review and she was aces. Well, she failed the review. With guccifer testifying she will flunk the FBI too. That dude wants Tue trophy. I’m very nearly willing to bet they recommend indictment. If they do, its OVER for her

  40. From a political article I just read:

    “Clinton’s claim that she had requested and received permission to conduct business via a private server was not substantiated by the State Department review. Additionally, State Department rules for preserving business-related emails on private servers were updated in 2009, undermining her comparisons to previous Secretaries of State (which the report conceded).”

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