Podcast #5: Alcohol, Guns, and the ISIS Threat

In this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors, Jason and Christian keep their promise to do a shot in honor of all those who shared their podcast on social media this past week, and go on to extol the many benefits of alcohol, and how the moderate enjoyment of various libations can help (in the immortal words of Pink) "get this party started." They also take some listener feedback and discuss issues like gun control, ISIS, and why Jason hates animals. God, he really is just a horrible, horrible person. … [Read more...]

Headache’s Gone. . . It’s a Miracle!

If I were to believe the majority of what I hear from Christians, I’d have to believe their lives were extraordinary. Answered prayers, miracles, their best friend (who happens to be the God of the universe) looking out for them all the time. Wow, it sounds awesome! Reality seems to tell a different tale though. I don’t see any difference between circumstances and events that surround non-Christians and circumstances and events that surround Christians. Both groups have sickness, disease, death, divorce, poverty, and depression…and in pretty much equal amounts. Both groups even seem to handle those things similarly. Sure, one group may put on a really brave face and proclaim that their prayers were answered when little Johnny’s cold goes … [Read more...]

Podcast #4: Acting, Our First Listener Feedback, and Other Ramblings

In this edition of Drunk Ex-Pastors (which is perhaps the most  entertaining and least  substantive one yet), Christian and Jason kick things off with a shot of 100 proof Southern Comfort, and then ramble semi-coherently about everything from the volume of Christian's vomiting to whether one of them could kill the other without getting caught, and from the silliness of "paying it forward" to whether girls who look like their fathers are hotter than those who resemble their moms. And for the first time they take listener feedback and address one of their detractors. Also, they drink way more than usual. … [Read more...]

More Air Travel Biebers

I’ve already mentioned two aspects of air travel that bieber* me. (Anyone know how to get Microsoft Word to stop capitalizing the verb “bieber?”). One is people clogging up the baggage claim, seemingly concerned that if they don’t claim their space of the luggage carousel, then someone else might get their own bag before they get theirs. The other is overly talkative passengers who don’t seem to understand that having your ear plugs in is the international sign for “I don’t want to hear about how you’re an oil drill operator and you married your brother’s wife’s sister and are flying up to move in with her and her three kids…and that you’re an oil drill operator…and that there is some side-boob across the aisle.” Ok, the side boob was … [Read more...]

Podcast #3: The Ice Bucket Challenge, Unbelieving Believers, and 36k Foot High Side Boob

In this edition of Drunk Ex-Pastors, Christian explains the "Ice Bucket Challenge" to Jason (call him dense, but it's not apparent to him how pouring ice water over his head will help cure a disease); they soften their stance on the Michael Brown shooting a tad; they argue about whether more than one church-goer in 100,000 actually believes the things he claims to; Christian continues his complaint about air travel, this time focusing on overly-talkative slash voyeuristic travelers sitting next to him, and Jason accidentally (but kind of on purpose) endorses Huxley's description of dystopic culture, except it's not stupid people at the bottom of the food-chain, it's unkempt ones. And they consign the other to hell several times. … [Read more...]

Slave Prices Reach New Lows

Often, stores I shop in offer me “credit,” or more accurately, “debt.” If I’m simply willing to go into a little bit of debt, I can get 10% off my order! Sometimes, just a, “No, thank you,” will end the conversation, but often the decline is followed up with, “No? You don’t want to save 10%?” Of course, this is asked in front of a line of people, so now you look like an idiot because, hey, this lady is offering you 10% off your order and you’re saying no. What’s wrong with you? Who wouldn’t want 10% off their order? Must be nice to have that kind of money to not care about 10% off your order! Store credit used to be reserved for stores that sold big ticket items, such as furniture stores or kitchen appliance stores. Recently, everyone has … [Read more...]

The Late Great Hal Lindsey

In the 1970s, Hal Lindsey’s The Late Great Planet Earth  was the “no. 1 non-fiction best-seller of the decade” according to the New York Times. To summarize, the book interpreted current events through the lens of biblical “prophecy” and convinced a lot of people that they were living in the last generation and that the next big event would be “The Rapture” of the church, or in layman’s terms, all the Christians would magically disappear off the earth. There were elaborate gymnastics done with scripture to try to prove whether or not this would happen before, during, or after “The Great Tribulation,” or in layman’s terms, a seven year shit-storm of god’s wrath upon the earth. Yeah, that’s right, it was categorized as … [Read more...]

Podcast #2: Michael Brown, Right vs Left, and the Rapture

In this episode, Jason and Christian discuss the shooting of Michael Brown, the unarmed black teen who was shot in the back and head by a white police in Ferguson, MO, last week; they explore the issue of whether people on the right are more ideologically driven than those on the left, who tend to be more pragmatic; they roll up their religious sleeves and dig into the nuts and bolts of the Rapture and its accompanying apocalyptic doomsday prophecies (during which hilarity cannot but ensue); and Jason complains about Hollywood’s over-sensationalizing of bathroom murders, while Christian moans about pushy salespeople and how they not only make him feel heartless but also cause him to publicly lament his years and years of poor … [Read more...]

Podcast #1: The American Work Ethic, ISIS, and Irrelevant Traffic Laws

In this episode, Jason and Christian discuss the American attitude toward work and compare it to that of other cultures (as in, why do we live to work while people in other cultures work to live?); they talk about the horrific actions of the Islamic group ISIS and attempt to distinguish fact from fiction regarding the worldwide persecution of Christians -- is it fair to call the denial of special treatment for American believers "persecution" while in the Middle East Christians are having their heads chopped off?; Christian vents about how pissed off he gets at the way air travelers conduct themselves at the luggage carousel; Jason bemoans how beholden humans are to machines as well as explains why most traffic laws don’t apply to him. And … [Read more...]