In this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors, Jason and Christian test out their interview skills on one of their oldest and closest friends, Michael Hernandez. After trying to figure out why Michael would choose to be gay with all the girls who were throwing themselves at him in high school, the DXPs do their best to determine if this choice of his means eternal darkness or whether or not God may spare him since at least he’s not Agnostic. (Sorry, Christian.) They reminisce about their good old days as bigoted fundamentalists and aspiring professional bowlers, acknowledging that Michael probably “bumped the twig” quite a bit more often than they did. Christian tries to get to the bottom of why marriage is important to the gays (or to anyone for … [Read more...]
Podcast #40: Kids: Love Them Enough to Kill Them!
So this is 40, meaning Drunk Ex-Pastors is now officially old (like a 40 year-old man or a 27 year-old woman [hey, don’t shoot the cultural messenger]). In this episode, Jason and Christian celebrate their geriatric status by swapping stories about shaving and unwanted body hair. We then bicker about whether Christian’s constant interrupting of Jason is due to the latter’s verbosity or the former’s impatience, both of which we trust are incredibly endearing. We then consider an alternative voting system that makes enough sense to never be implemented in a million years, after which we tackle the issue of money in politics. A listener’s question about the so-called “age of accountability” opens up a massive can of worms, leaving Jason … [Read more...]
Podcast #39: Leave the Driving to Us
In this episode, the Drunk Ex-Pastors do their best to live up to their names (Christian introduces a new cocktail to the arsenal, while Jason does his part by drinking several margaritas before show time). After briefly revisiting the issue of police brutality, we let our inner Californians show by divulging some of our driving habits, including the theory that driving twice the speed limit reduces one’s chances of getting a speeding ticket by half (math is hard). The DXPs then share some tips for avoiding traffic fines and ignoring overly-inquisitive borders patrol guards, as well as give a bit of insight into why we ignore all of your Facebook friend-requests. We take a listener call about whether we are prejudiced against Islam, that … [Read more...]
Podcast #28: Yoga Pants, Gay Husbands, and Incest
In this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors, Jason and Christian talk about yoga pants. Naturally, this brings up many more topics such as when candy had its zenith, exactly what it means to covet your neighbor’s ass, and what it would be like if women catcalled men. They then talk about gay men marrying women and whether or not that will make god happy finally. A caller asks why a father shouldn’t marry his daughter, which leads to Jason being confused about how reproduction works. Jason is biebered by overly conservative people, and Christian is biebered by having to keep quiet until he has everything figured out. Also, Jason advocates for straight men getting gay-married…again. Hmmm. … [Read more...]
Podcast #26: Mythical Christianity, Racial Stereotypes, and Handling Change
In this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors, Christian and Jason start off with a voicemail from a listener who describes an unsuccessful attempt at introducing a friend to the podcast which ends with that friend thinking they’re racist. A question about Christian’s agnosticism leads to a discussion about whether or not the Bible is reliable and if Jesus could be who the Bible claims he is. Another caller, not realizing that Jason and Christian have been labeled as racist, brings up the issue of racial stereotypes. Alcohol encourages them to go ahead and take on the topic. A couple of other callers ask questions about how Christian’s and Jason’s personal lives were affected by their change in beliefs, which Christian is happy to answer. Jason … [Read more...]
Podcast #24: A Year without God, Clarifications, and Transgenderism
In this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors, after a quick discussion about the ways they would abuse lucid dreaming and why living like Jesus would completely screw up one’s life, Christian and Jason analyze the recently finished yearlong experiment of Ryan Bell, a former pastor who decided last January to live like an atheist and report his findings. They then address feedback from listeners on the topics of scientific theory (it’s just theory!), torture (it’s totally OK!), and Capitalism (they hate it, obviously). They then address the recent suicide of Leelah (Joshua) Alcorn, a transgender teen who was told by their parents that “God doesn’t make mistakes.” Jason is biebered by rhyming with poor timing, and Christian is biebered by people who … [Read more...]
Podcast #23: Test Drive Hit and Run, Tough Love, and Capitalism vs Christianity
In this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors, Jason wants to know if they’re recording, but he finally has a reason to worry. Jason then regales us with stories from the car dealership, including a recent test drive that went bad, especially for a pedestrian who may or may not be completely fine. Let’s pretend he is. Christian and Jason then talk about “tough love” and whether or not Christians should shun people who don’t live according to their morals. They then discuss the “Christian Right,” how it came to be, and more importantly, whether it should be. A caller claims to have more joy and freedom as a former Christian than she did as a Christian, which we all know is completely impossible. Finally, Jason is biebered by how much more difficult it … [Read more...]
Podcast #22: Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un, Legalizing Everything, and Puppy-Kicking Atheists
In this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors, Christian and Jason go over some new iTunes reviews of the podcast, one of which is two stars and actually ends up being somewhat accurate. They then discuss the new CEO of Sony, Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un. After a discussion about raising money as missionaries, they take on the concept of over criminalization and whether or not less laws would cause everyone to start shooting heroine into their eyeballs. They then take a question about how censored their childhoods were and then another question about whether or not atheists are just as bad as fundamentalist Christians. They then reminisce about a fight they had over a lighter and Christian is biebered by joint Facebook accounts. Also, they get a … [Read more...]
Podcast #21: Altar Calls, Wounded Warriors, Born Agains, and Torture
In this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors, Christian has to deal with an obstinate child named Jason who refuses to wear his headphones and stalls for twenty minutes on a shot he doesn’t want to drink. After compromising, they discuss the manipulative practice of attempting to create Christians known as the “altar call,” and what role this played in them being asked to leave the Calvary Chapel pastorate. They then listen to a wounded warrior describe his experience back in The States which drives home the realities of war in a way that many people don’t ever recognize. Jason and Christian (or Christian and Jason) then address listener feedback including why it’s impossible for Christian ministers to be authentic and whether or not being “born … [Read more...]
Podcast #20: Mundane Christianity, Speaking in Tongues, and Eric Garner Can’t Breathe
In this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors, after taking a “holiday” shot suggestion submitted by a listener and getting an update on the woeful life of a car salesman, Christian and Jason springboard off of something Jason said in the last podcast into whether or not Christianity should be any different than any other organization or religion. (Or as Christian likes to wonder, should God make a difference?) They then address a listener’s voicemail about speaking in tongues and whether or not anyone is actually doing it for real, especially 3rd graders being filmed by the news. They then address the homicide of Eric Garner by Staten Island police and attempt to answer the difficult question of whether or not being black and weighing 350 pounds is … [Read more...]