In this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors, Jason and Christian jump on the Seahawks bandwagon. They lament their failed childhood radio careers. They tell stories of gluttony, obstructive sleep apnea, and mushrooms from the cruise. They talk about how car salesman get revenge for bad reviews. They mock (and refuse) the apology of the punching pastor. They come up with more stereotypes for white people. They discuss whether or not places can be holy or sacred and what that means for Catholics who want to get married on the beach. Jason is biebered by people who are biebered by Michael Moore being biebered by snipers. Christian is biebered by people who don’t recognize that movies are the highest form of art. Also, is love in the air for Jason … [Read more...]
Podcast #8: Offensive Words, Passive Seduction, and Selfies
In this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors, Christian gives Jason a very special gift (hint: it's small, sings like a little Canadian boy, and you put it in your mouth); we take feedback from a female listener who is frustrated by her former time in the church when all her "sisters in Christ" thought she wanted to steal their husbands; we delve into the issue of language and labels, focusing on whether and when it's OK to use "the N-word" as well as whether jokingly labeling stuff "gay" or "retarded" is a retarded, gay thing to do; Jason bitches about his culinary needs never being met, while we hoist a poignant shot which Christian saved for the very end of the show. … [Read more...]
Podcast #7: Scary Movies, Dead Americans, and Mark Driscoll’s Penis
In our seventh episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors, Jason explains why he doesn't like movies containing red-headed twin children or the Holocaust; Christian reveals some sobering facts about ISIS and their plot to take over America (or just kill us all, we're not sure at this point); we take some listener feedback asking about Mark Driscoll's penis and who it really belongs to; and lastly, Christian complains about the insensitivity of certain drivers' parking habits, while Jason laments all progress in general. … [Read more...]
Hot Enough for Acting?
As I explain in episode 4 of Drunk Ex-Pastors below, it is my contention that only around 10% of household-name “actors” are actually talented at acting, while the rest just aren’t (among this other 90% are names like Brad Pitt, Diane Keaton, George Clooney, Sandra Bullock, etc.). Now don’t get me wrong, these people can act, kind of. But they are not more talented at acting than most people are at doing whatever they like doing in their spare time (unlike professional athletes like Kobe Bryant or Lionel Messi, who excel at what they do on a level far beyond 99% of most people do at what they’re passionate about). Put another way, I, Jason Stellman, am about as good at public speaking or writing books as Jason Bateman is at acting. … [Read more...]
The Late Great Hal Lindsey
In the 1970s, Hal Lindsey’s The Late Great Planet Earth was the “no. 1 non-fiction best-seller of the decade” according to the New York Times. To summarize, the book interpreted current events through the lens of biblical “prophecy” and convinced a lot of people that they were living in the last generation and that the next big event would be “The Rapture” of the church, or in layman’s terms, all the Christians would magically disappear off the earth. There were elaborate gymnastics done with scripture to try to prove whether or not this would happen before, during, or after “The Great Tribulation,” or in layman’s terms, a seven year shit-storm of god’s wrath upon the earth. Yeah, that’s right, it was categorized as … [Read more...]
Podcast #2: Michael Brown, Right vs Left, and the Rapture
In this episode, Jason and Christian discuss the shooting of Michael Brown, the unarmed black teen who was shot in the back and head by a white police in Ferguson, MO, last week; they explore the issue of whether people on the right are more ideologically driven than those on the left, who tend to be more pragmatic; they roll up their religious sleeves and dig into the nuts and bolts of the Rapture and its accompanying apocalyptic doomsday prophecies (during which hilarity cannot but ensue); and Jason complains about Hollywood’s over-sensationalizing of bathroom murders, while Christian moans about pushy salespeople and how they not only make him feel heartless but also cause him to publicly lament his years and years of poor … [Read more...]